
This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 8; the eighth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.
The rain patted on the window pane .....there was complete darkness around in the house ( Thanks to the MSEB which puts off the lights even at the rustle of a leaf ). There was a tap on the door. Shreya rummaged through the drawers for the candle shouting loud in the pitch darkness, " Hold on I am coming" Then whispering to herself..." How many times I told Suraj to fix a generator but he is just not interested in home affairs". " Just like his father" came a thought in a mind in the next room.
Shreya opened the door holding the candle close to the strangers face, she saw a frail figure standing in front of her. "Can I meet Mrs. Sheila Sharma?please" said the stranger in a sympahtetic tone. Shreya was taken back by the question...before she could ask who was it he wanted to meet? ......she remembered the name and called out confused " Amma, there's someone at the door wanting to meet you". As the trembling legs walked slowly towards the door adjusting her specs she looked up.The first glance took her back in the time machine to 40yrs flashback.......
while Suraj was crying uncontrollably in the cradle, she was engrossed in deep thinking as to how she could find a job & if she found one how would she manage with the just 1yr baby.
" You still look the same as before" he said in a weak, guilt filled voice standing still at the door, while Shreya stood beside her mother- in- law, whispering in her ears " who is he? Should we ask him to come in and have a seat?". " No " said Amma " I dont recognise him, give him some money and close the door".
She could still hear the angry voices even after 40 yrs echoing in the house where she spent each day hearing the abuses for her husband who cheated them by not repaying their debt. He had left her without a word all alone not turning back a single day to see how she lived.
She had lost her past working hard to survive with her only fatherless child ....had planned her future since then ......but was uncertain if her present decision was right!
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wow!! one of the better entries for BATOM, I must say. I liked it. She did a good thing by telling "I dont recognize him". He deserved it for sure. All the best for BATOM!! :)
ReplyDeleteAlso read my take on this!
Well written, liked it over all. Though, you should omit the ellipses when you write, until they're NOT needed. All the best for BATOM!
ReplyDeletePS: http://bit.ly/aliensandme
wah wah...nice one...:D
ReplyDeleteHey, good one but I felt the ending was abrupt, you know- ye dil maange moore. Overall, it was nice narration and cool imagination. Good Luck!!
ReplyDeleteSuch a small post, but with lots of emotions! well written!
ReplyDeleteThe man sure deserved the treatment he got! What goes around comes around ;) All the best with BATOM 8! :)
ReplyDeleteGood post! The words were full of meaning and emotion.. I never knew Time Travel could also mean this.. Great perspective!
ReplyDeleteAll the Best for BATOM-8!
@ evanescentthoughts....Thanks...wish you the same and yes will surely check out yours too!
ReplyDelete@ The virgin Author..... thanks for the comment & ya sure will take care of the ellipses :)
ReplyDelete@ sid .....u seriously liked it .....well the secret ....all inspired by u hahahaha
ReplyDelete@ Vivek Nanda.....well i know it sounded like one of the K'series....so i guess the ending went short.
ReplyDelete@ Mural ....thanks for your. Kept my blog short ...n sweet ;) ( actually i had run out of time...a last minute write up)
ReplyDelete@ Raksha... very right indeed!....Thanks for visiting my blog.
ReplyDelete@ Parth....
ReplyDelete:) well even I did not know before typing what excatly I would come up with....it was just an attempt.Thanks for your comment.
heyy flashing Good attempt.
ReplyDeleteBy the way ...BLOG A TON ...lines are appearing twice in your post you can delete one.
Very well written, Pankaja. Thank heavens there was no emosional attyachar and the woman was curt to that sordid man. :D Short and crisp.
ReplyDeleteAll the best for BATOM!
Cheerios!
I'm glad it wasn't too long unlike other BAT participant posts. It was a nice story and yes the man deserved what he got. Few don't deserve a second chance.
ReplyDeleteAll the best for BAT. :)
nice post! :)
ReplyDeletequite unique and original ...
ReplyDeleteemotional and intriguing...
nice one :)
al d best :)
Hm.. Nice. You have captured the emotions well through the descriptions of the tones of the conversation and the conversation itself. For a real event it is easy. Quite difficult for an imaginary incident. You have to put yourself in the situation and try to think. Appreciate your effort.
ReplyDelete@ Makk ... thanks for the lightening comment ;)
ReplyDelete@ Karthik ....Thanks a lot! I guess the emotional attaychar missed out bcoz I am no longer in touch with the K- series queen ( thank God).
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment
@ Nethra.......very right. In life there are sometimes never a second chance.
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting my blog
@ Mehak ....thanks! that was a sweet n short comment ( like my post )
ReplyDelete@ Mahesh.....Thanks I m glad u liked my attempt :)
ReplyDelete@ The Fool (sorry tried getting your name but could not) .....Thanks for your comment. Glad you liked it :)
ReplyDelete@ Pankaja
ReplyDeleteVery nourishing intrigue side! Truly Touched!!
Weldone!
All the best for BATOM;
Keep the spark Alive..
Nice one! He all deserves it..Its too too late...Great...
ReplyDelete@ Rachana ....Hey thanks a lot! wish you the same :)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWow! That's a good one!! Liked the plot and narration too! Very moving too!
ReplyDeleteCheers and all the very best for BAT-8! :)